I walked through the deserted late night streets, with the music coming from my headphones as my sole companions. As I walked, I spotted a man lying down on the streets, his only cover from the chilly cold night being a torned blanket. I quickly walked past him.
"I am so tired."
This was one of my many late night walks. I had grown used to them, every night I would walk around the block of this big city, in which I just felt like a small bird trapped in a cage. The city always seemed to be calling out to me, with its restaurants, its bars and its people, but I never felt like I could be part of it. Why? I can never really tell. So I walk through this city like a ghost, adrift, as time flies by and the days go by.
Tonight had been a good night, however. I had met up with someone, this person was just what I wanted, this person was not like all the others, in fact, this person was perfect. I had grown tired of this night encounters, as I liked to call them, but this particular night had been way better than any other night encounter. I had felt so happy when I was with this person, but I now know we are probably never gonna see each other again. Why? I just know it. I feel it.
So, I made my way to my apartment. and I hear music on the streets. I raise up my head, and notice someone on one of those tall buildings sorrounding me was having a party. I wish I could be there, I wish my friend hadn't left this cage, now she has left me alone. This cage of a city wouldn't let me go. I woke up every morning to go to work, took the crowded morning bus and felt like a cow with all the rest of its people, being transported to a meathouse to be butchered. So I went to work, where I could barely pay attention, my eyes closed, my mind did too after hours of my sleepless night. The people in there all seemed to be sure about why they were there. I had no idea why. All my job reminded me was that I am nothing.
Tonight had been a good night, however. So why am I thinking so much? I hate it when I think so much, I shouldn't talk to myself all the time. I just wanna get to my apartment. But what then? I will just go to sleep and then wake up to another day in this cage. I know there must be something else to this cage, there must. I wish I could just escape it. Go away. Grab my car, turn on the engine and speed up, never to look back again. I will go far, far away from this cage, where I will be in peace. But what then? I will still be trapped, I always am. It makes no difference if I'm on this big city or in any other place in the world. I know one thing for sure, I will never be truly happy.
All I really need some now is some weed, some oral sex, and a bed in which I can sleep. I need a joint right now, I need to light it up and forget about everything. I wish I just could, I wish I could be better, but I know I will never be truly happy.
Tonight had been a good night, however.