Brandon's So Glam Bitch Race Competition is a series in which eight contestants duke out for a 100,000 dollars and get to meet a celebrity guest host each week while making alliances to stay in the game. Season one takes place in a snow resort in Canada.
SAFE The contestant was not voted out.
IMMUNE The team/contestant won the challenge.
RISK The contestant was at risk of being voted out.
OUT The contestant was voted out.
OUT The contestant was voted out by the host.
OUT The contestant was voted out by a contestant with Immunity.
RETURNED This contestant returned to the game.
FINALIST This contestant made it to the finale.
WINNER This contestant won the competition.
CALL BACK This contestant was eligible for season two.
Brandon: Welcome to the pilot of the new hit competition: Brandon's So Glam Bitch Race Competition, sponsored by Oxygen! Now we had hundreds of applicants from all over *mumbles: some who were foreign and wanted a green card*, but only eight can play this game; and let's get to introducing them.
- Delilah walks into the house -
Delilah: Hey bitches! Wow, I can't believe I'm in such a nice place. Seriously dude, I lived on the streets.
Brandon: Okay...Anyways, let's introduce Shan.
- Shan walks in with a self-help book -
Brandon: Welcome girlfriend!
Shan: Shh, I'm praying.
Brandon: Right. *whispers: bring in the next one... O_o
- John walks in -
John: Please God tell me I'm on Big Brother.
Brandon: No. Do any of you people realize what you signed up for?
- Jessy walks in -
Jessy: My name's Jessy and I don't GIVE A-
Brandon: Hold up! This is a family show, please watch your mouth, sister.
- Nina skips in -
Nina: This is amazeballs, can I call you waterbottle?
Brandon: -_- No.
Nina: Thanks waterbottle!
- Justin enters the resort -
Justin: Did anyone else notice that the plane had no heat?
Brandon: It's called budget, and we're on it, dude.
Delilah: Right, so is the food free, or do we have to pay for everything? I can't really afford that, I just lost my job and...
Brandon: Shut the hell up, we're not even finished with the introduction.
- Tyler walks in the house, playing an app that has a fake audience that begins to cheer -
Brandon: I just want everyone to know that was not real people.
Tyler: Yes it was...
Brandon: No it wasn't, and you aren't allowed to have access to the outside world during the show...
Tyler: Too bad.
- Brandon jerks the phone out of Tyler's hands -
- Tom walks in -
Shan: I call dibs! ;)
Delilah: Fuck you bitch, he's mine.
- Delilah walks over to Tom and begins to make out with him -
- Shan gasps in shock and runs over to pull Delilah off -
Brandon: Our budget was low and we couldn't afford security for these sort of things, so we'll be back after the break!
Brandon: We're back and the girls have decided to stop the fighting. So now it's time to introduce a key member of this game: Bitch Crown. She decides the winner of each week and that means immunity, which some of you crazy bitches will need in order to stay in the game longer than this week. Each of you will put it on and she will determine who the winner is, but first, let's introduce this week's hot celebrity guest.....
- Lea Michele dances in -
Lea: Hi guys! I'm glad to be here, even though this show makes no sense and the fact I have no affiliation with this show in any way.
Delilah: OMG, I love you. Let's make out.
Tom: I thought you liked me...
Delilah: Omg, just because I make out with you doesn't mean I want to date you. *laughs* Can you believe this guys *nudging at Shan*
Shan: I hope you burn in hell...
Delilah: That's not real. -_-
Shan: Get the hell away from me, right now!
Brandon: Who told you two you could sit together! *rolls eye's*
Bitch Crown: Silence bitches, it's time for me to decide!
Jessy: Is anyone else freaked out that a crown can talk...?
Bitch Crown: This week's winner is....John.
Brandon: Congrats, John. You're safe, but here's a hot twist I'm now able to surprise you with, you can't vote if you have immunity! Amazing, right?
John: That's some real bull s@*t.
Brandon: Well, your opinion is irrelevant, so idgaf.
Brandon: Alright, while John and Lea are off on their one-on-one, you will vote. Deli, you first. The diary room is that way.
- Delilah writes down a name and shows it to the screen, smirking -
- Shan enters and writes a name down -
Shan: Bye bitch. *grins*
- Jessy enters the diary room and writes down a name -
- Tom enters, cluelessly -
- Tyler enters and writes quickly -
Brandon: The votes have pretty much been unanimous...Seriously, though. Shan, it's time for you to get the hell out of here.
Shan: That's impossible! I prayed hard and I know that Tom voted for Jessy with me!
Brandon: That's cute, why not tell it to the diary room before you leave. We have a complimentary glass of Champaign and a cute rendition of Keep Holding On playing while you cry to the screen.
- Tom walks over to Shan and hugs her -
Tom: I really like you, Shan. I-I'll win this for you, okay?
Jessy: Please...It's time to go, bye.
Delilah: I'm just glad I have a bed and heat for another day.
- Shan enters the Diary Room -
Shan Diary Room Confessional: I can't believe I'm leaving (Keep Holding On begins to play). This-This isn't the end by a long shot! I-I have people waiting for me back home, and I don't need this show. Screw Brandon for not even reading the other votes, and I will get that hateful bitch Delilah if it's the last thing I do. Also, I didn't even technically join this, I don't think any of us-
- Brandon enters and drags Shan out quickly and throws her out the door -
Shan: Where's the plane?!?!
Brandon: We don't have it anymore; enjoy the hike, bitch!
-Music starts playing and the contestants begin to dance crazily -
Brandon: Tune in next episode as the game begins to get real, tune in soon my Glam Fam! *makes kissy face*
Episode Two Edit
Brandon: Welcome back, Glam Fam! Last week sister Christian Shan was voted out by the new mean girls and another. Too bad her boyfriend has already dug a hole for himself. The network demanded we be a little more fun, so this week all bets are off the table for immunity. They'll have to work a lot harder than an electronic crown. ;)
- Brandon walks in hitting pans against each other in the contestants ears -
Brandon: Get the hell up!
Delilah: It's six in the fucking morning. I'm not in the mood.
Brandon: Too bad, bitch.
Tyler: Why am I up?
Brandon: So the crown will still be choosing a lucky winner for the one-on-one who will advise you on how to win the real challenge, which is trivia. It's a basic trivia game that I made while I got totally wasted with my interns last night. ;)
Jessy: No thanks.
Brandon: Excuse you, bitch? Anyways, let the crown do it's bidding. :D
- Lucy Hale crawls from the floor board -
Lucy: How the hell did I get here?
Brandon: I guess Lucy is our surprise guest. *whispers: you better have been the only one to escape* -_-
Nina: Wow, I loved you on Pretty Little Liars!
Bitch Crown: The winner is...Tom
Brandon: Congrats Tom. Our guest was supposed to be a well-known survivor who specialized in wilderness trivia, but I hope Lucy can help you.
Tom: This whole one-on-one is pointless... O_o
Tom's Diary Room Confessional: I just want Shan to be here, honestly. Lucy is great, but she is pretty useless in wilderness facts. So, yeah...
Brandon: Right after this break, we'll see how the contestants do with this challenge! ;D
Brandon: Alright, so our contestants battled it out trivia stlye and Tom and Nina refused to answer. -_-
Nina: Suck it, waterbottle.
Brandon: The results are in: Delilah and Justin scored a measly seven, embarrassing for you two. Jessy, did not take the quiz apparently...Tyler scored a twenty, and I suspect you had your phone again. *stares angrily at Tyler* John had a whopping eight. So what I had learned is, Lucy Hale was a useless guest, and most of you wouldn't survive the wild... -_-
- Everyone shrugs -
Brandon: Elimination time. Go vote, lazy bitches.
- Delilah goes into the Diary Room -
- Jessy enters and votes -
- Justin enters and votes -
- Tyler votes -
Brandon: Okay, the votes are in, one for Jessy and John and two for Tom - Tom drops his mouth in shock -
Tom: Can't I have a proper elimination?
Brandon: No, bitch. You wasted my time. Throws out of the house. Take a hike! Six contestants remain, and they'll have a big surprise waiting for them, Glam Fam. Tune in next episode, LYLAS. *waves at the screen*
Episode 3 Edit
Brandon: Right, so poor Tom was thrown out once again but the bigger shocker is that only six remain. Also, when will Jessy get a clue that she's got someone out for her? Will Delilah ever stop having sex with all the contestants, and honestly, when will the real drama start?
Jessy: I know one of you bitches voted for me, not once, but twice. I will find out who's after me. Kay?
Delilah: Bitch, you've complained so much since you got inside this house. Stfu.
John: I just want to win, then maybe Big Brother will notice me.
Jessy: He won't, kay bitch? And Delilah, kiss my ass, babe.
Delilah: I'm so close to coming over there and whooping your fake ass.
Tyler: Can I get that on video or-
Jessy: Shut up, we know you still have your phone and that you cheated last week.
Tyler: That's a load of bs, and get your facts straight. You're just mad because Delilah intimidates you.
Jessy: *laughs hysterically* That bitch doesn't intimidate a caterpillar, honey. I'm not even afraid of any of you, and has anyone seen Nina since this game started?
Delilah: What the hell ever, bitch. You're just trying to change the subject, so give up. Also, watch your back, sweet pea, because I'm coming for you. ;)
Jessy: I'm not sure if that was supposed to be scary or sexual. *rolls eyes*
- Brandon enters the meeting room -
Brandon: Six of you remain, and you're all already getting so, so catty.
Delilah: Get to the point, bitch.
Brandon: Mkay, well this week you'll be playing a new game, and I've decided that it'll be a partnership. ;)
Brandon: Someone destroyed Bitch Crown and-
Jessy: I did it.
Jessy: It hasn't chosen me once since this game started. So fuck it.
Brandon: What the hell ever. So, the pairs are as followed: Justin and Jessy, Tyler and Delilah, Nina and John. So here's your goal, you have to write a Romantic story following the two of you that must feature comedy and drama, the best story will give the two winners immunity, and that leaves a special surprise for those who are at the elimination ceremony. Toodles. Oh, and the story is Due Monday by ten, good luck. :*
Brandon: Delilah and Tyler, you're up. :)
Delilah: I see Tyler sitting across from me, looking as handsome as ever in his fitted suit," thinks Delilah. "He's just too perfect". "Babe, I love you," he says. "And I want to spend my whole life with you. Please will you-" just then, Delilah wakes up in her room. She checks the clock, "12:03 AM". "Just a dream. He has to end up proposing sometime though." Delilah thinks to herself as she gets out of bed to get a drink of water. She walks down the hallway into the living room, where she sees her sister, Nasia holding a gun and Tyler lying on the floor, covered in blood. "I had to." says Nasia.
Brandon: Right...So let's move on...
Jessy: That sucked. I've taken s**ts that were longer.
Brandon: Jessy, I don't think your opinion was asked for.
Jessy: And did I ask for you to butt in? No.
Brandon: Let's just move along... -_-
John: Well, Nina was my partner and she isn't even down here. She passed out earlier and I didn't get to write anything, but if you give me a minu-
Brandon: I'm tired of the excuses. Go sit down, you and Nina should be ashamed.
- Nina walks into the meeting room -
John: We're in trouble because of you!
Nina: Whatevs, I came down here for some food.
Brandon: Sit down. We're in the middle of a challenge.
Nina: Coolio, waterbottle.
Brandon: Let's just get Jessy and Justin up here.
Justin: Jessy told me to do all the work and give her credit, so I guess Jessy wrote it?
Jessy: Thanks cutie. ;)
Delilah: *coughs* Slut.
Brandon: Hush! Justin, proceed with Jessy's story.
Justin: hey, where are you going?" justin asks his twin, Justine. "Out." "Out where?"Justin asks, loosing his patience. "I'm going out on a date with Jessy, okay?"Justine said, about to leave the house. "Hold on a bit, hold on. Dude, Jessy's like the hottest girl on school..." "yeah i know" justine said, indiferentally and a smirked drew on Justin's face as an idea struck him. "Oh, you're not going anywhere." Justin said as he grabbed a dish and teared it into pieces against his twin's head and smiled proudly at his twin brother, unconscioys at the floor. A while later, Justin and Jessy were having lunch together. "Remember when you asked me out by putting a note in my locker?" Jessy asked while Justin gulped. "Yeah, totally." He answered with anxiety. "Are you okay?" Jessy asked. "You seem nervous." "Yeah, because I'm out on a date with you" Justin answered as he winked. Jessy then giggled. "I'm done with eating. Can we go over your house now?" Justin got much more nervous. "Uhhh, yeah, sure" he figured that Justine would be up and out by now. When they drove back to the house and Justin opened the door, Justine was on the ground. "Fuck," Justin says. "Ummmm... Justine... Wait. You aren't Justine." Justin was afraid of the response he was going to get. "Good. I only went out with Justine so that he could help me with assignments. Call me tomorrow night, okay?" Jessy winked as she left.
Brandon: That's quite the story. Bravo! Jessy and Justin win Immunity this week.
Delilah: Bull sh-
Brandon: And commercial break!
Brandon: We're back, and here is the big surprise! It's a double elimination! ;)
Brandon: Since Nina has done nothing, she is getting the hell out of here!
Nina: Fine. This was a waste of my time, anyways.
- Brandon shoves Nina out the door -
Brandon: So now that Jessy and Justin are safe, that leaves Delilah, John and Tyler up for the chopping block, and I've decided to add a twist to this elimination. Jessy and Justin will agree together who they want evicted from the house tonight! ;D
Delilah: Oh God...
Brandon: Let the eviction begin!
- Jessy enters the Diary Room and writes down a contestant name -
- Justin enters and writes a name down -
Brandon: Right, Tyler, pack your bags. You have been evicted.
Brandon: Hey, it's one of the smarter moves that have been made it the house.
Jessy: *walks to Delilah* Bet you were scared, bitch. ;)
Delilah: Not remotely.
- Tyler exits the house angrily -
Brandon: Tune in next week for an ultimate surprise that will leave the contestants shocked.
Brandon: Last week a mouth dropping double elimination occurred. Nina and Tyler were sent packing and now that leaves four contestants left. Thing aren't over by a long shot. One contestant has a secret in play, and one last contestant is going home before the epic finale! >:D
- Delilah, John, Justin, and Jessy all sit in the meeting room -
Jessy: Guys, I have an announcement to make. Justin and I are officially dating.
- Delilah rolls her eyes -
Delilah: Of course you two are...
Jessy: Jealous much?
Delilah: Nah, I just hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds. ;)
Jessy: What do you mean by that?
Delilah: I slept with Justin week 2, just saying.
Jessy: Well he must've hated it because he's ran to a real woman.
Justin: Delilah, I didn't have sex with you... O_o
Delilah: You did. You're such a liar, Justin. You and Jessy deserve each other.
John: Can't we all just get along for two minutes? We're the final freaking four!
Jessy: Who cares? We all know I'm going to win this.
Delilah: No. -_-
- Brandon enters -
Brandon: Wow. The final four. I didn't peg two of you to make it this far. ;)
Jessy: He's referring to Delilah and John.
Brandon: So, one of you has something you need to confess to.
Brandon: A member of this house has had a secret immunity that they must give to one of the three of you. Justin, come on up.
- Brandon points a remote to the TV and Justin's Diary Confession comes on screen -
Justin's Diary Confession: So I have an immunity to give to a certain player, but the deal is, whoever I give it to has to vote of who I say. Sadly, Delilah or John must go home. It's not up to Jessy to pick, because I'm not allowed to hold it.
- Delilah and John's mouth drops open -
Jessy: I hope you both enjoy trying to decipher who's going home. ;)
Brandon: Once Jessy decides, you will have to leave the house immediately. You will not be allowed to take your stuff with you.
Brandon: Because you'll be a loser. Jessy, who do you choose to evict?
Jessy: I'm getting rid of.....Delilah.
Delilah: I should've known! :O
Brandon: That's cute, but we need to wrap this up for the finale. Byeee!
- Delilah is thrown out of the house -
Brandon: So there is your final three! Tune in next for the epic season finale and much more! :*
Brandon: So we're back for the finale, and before we start let's introduce the five who didn't make it!
- Shan, Tom, Nina, Tyler, and Delilah walk into the house -
Brandon: So, how does it feel to be on Jury duty?
Tyler: This sucks.
Shan: I've forgiven all of you for what you put me through.
Tom: I'm with my honey.
Delilah: My lawyer advised me not to answer any ill questions.
Brandon: Mkay. So you guys will be helping find the winner in Act II of this season finale. How does that feel?
Delilah: I think I deserved to be here more than any of them mother-
Brandon: Shan, how do you feel?
Shan: Well, I think any of them could honestly make it. Also, Tom proposed to me not too long after he survived the hike in that cold, winter mountain. *shows ring*
Brandon: That's neat...
Brandon: Alright, you guys need to leave so Act I can begin.
- The five Jury members exit -
Brandon: Hi my lucky final three! You guys will have two Acts to survive in order to win. Act I will consist of Big Brother questions. They can range from many different types of trivial questions. Only two of you can go on to the next round. The loser will join the Jury members, who will decide the winner. Good luck tonight.
- The three nod -
Brandon: John, you refused to answer the questions, so you are eliminated. Go to the jury section.
Brandon: It's time for the Jury to vote. Tyler, who do you pick?
Tyler: I pick Justin.
Brandon: Okay. Delilah, who do you pick?
Delilah: I pick Jessy.
Brandon: That's a shock. Shan, who do you pick?
Shan: I pick Justin.
Tom: I pick Jessy.
Nina: I pick Jessy.
John: I pick Justin.
Brandon: A tie? Seriously? A TIE? That's fine. I planned this. *grabs remotes and presses it and leaves house to the helicopter outside*.
- The house starts shaking and snow begins to bust through the house, engulfing everything - - The contestants looked frightened and hold each other for dear life
Brandon: *on helicopter* Tune in next season when we return for more drama and a new premise! I'm Brandon and this was a waste of Oxygen's money. :*