Ik this is late, but I've been struggling over the past nine days to find the right words. I miss you more than you will ever know, and I love you more than you will ever know. I know you're in a better place now. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I admire you so much. No one deserves to go through what you went through. I am comfortable saying that you beat cancer. I was listening to a speech by someone who has cancer the other day, and he said you don't lose your battle by dying. You win your battle by the way you live. With the way you lived, I am comfortable saying you won. You enriched the lives of everyone you came across. You made me a much better person. Being your best friend has been the greatest honor of my life, and to know you felt the same way is an even bigger. one I will always keep you in my heart. You're my best friend. Know that this goodbye isn't forever. I love you buddy. Rest easy.
I miss you Pistachio. I miss coming to OFIBTY and not seeing your icon on chat. I miss how you always stood up for me and didn't ban me when I made all those untasteful jokes. You were like a big brother I never had and I will always remember you. When I go to Joeyland, I will probably write 'Joey was here' on wall or sth, I write it all the time. You were kind of like a dad, so this song goes out to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VaTDvBo_zI
I know you're never going to reply to this, but I still am leaving this message anyways. Joey, I miss you, I miss you a lot. I know you wouldn't want me to, but I do. You've changed me so much as a person for the better, and I will never forget you, ever. You're in a better place now and not in pain anymore, and I'm happy about that. I don't want to be selfish and wish you were here, even though you were suffering, but I do. I do wish you were here. You were probably one of the nicest and sweetest and funniest guys I've ever met, and it kills me how such bad things happen to such great people, it's sad, it really is. I know I told you that you'd make it through, and you'll win, but you tried your hardest. You fought and fought and fought but sadly, you didn't win. I commend you so much Joey, and you'll forever be in my hearts, my little Dutch boy.
Every time I come on OFIBTY, I get excited that maybe, just maybe you responded to my message. I check, and realize it was just a stupid fantasy, but maybe just maybe you did make it through, and you're not suffering anymore, and you've just returned to your old life, got back together with your old friends, and I instantly feel happy for you. So maybe that's what happened, and that's what I'm gonna make myself think happened to you, because I want the best, and no one deserves the end you might've had.
I know you're never going to read this, Joey. And that just hurts. More than anything.
But I just wanted to say that I loved you. You were one of my best friends; I trusted you with my personal troubles, we gave each other advice, you were cute and sweet and hilarious. As much as I'm trying not to reduce to a quivering, snivelling wreck on my floor, I'm tearing up writing this.